Sitting down and thinking about this last year - dissertation open in another tab - it has actually been so much more challenging than I could have ever imagined. My confidence has been tested, my mental health, my physical health, my emotional health - I guess being on the way of coming out of it all likely means I'll be a stronger person when I do, but at the moment I don't think so, (trying ridiculously hard to build up my confidence) I don't think I'm there yet. But I have learnt a few lessons along the way. I won't be sharing all key 20 lessons, but here's a few.
And I hope you can learn from them so you don't have to go through things like this yourself.
Put yourself first.
As much as your care about other people and their opinions of you, as important as going out with your friends might be, as important as being in a relationship might be, as challenging as your job or education might be, to you, don't forget yourself in it all. Remember to take some time out for yourself. Unwind after a long day at work/school, actually use some of your time off as REST days, go and see your friends, and always remember to spend time alone.
Leave your stress at work. Don't take it home.
Learn to walk away from destructive people.
If you keep pouring into someone and they're not giving anything back, you'll end up an empty being. Find a friend or partner that pours back into you, one that helps you grow, and makes you a better person. Otherwise, cut them off. You have places to go and people to see.
Don't ever let people walk all over you.
― Zora Neale Hurston“If you are silent about your pain, they’ll kill you and say you enjoyed it.”
You're allowed to be upset.
Don't let people put you down for having "down days". Sometimes when things get a bit 'too much', I take time out to think, and if that leads to crying, I cry. I don't think there's any shame in that and neither should you. But don't allow yourself to dwell in that state of sadness, it will mess you up. Get up out of it afterwards, I find going on walks help.
STOP waiting for Friday.
This summer has consisted of me wishing away the weekdays so I could go out on Saturday to spend time with my boy, or hating work so much I wished away the weekdays then never enjoyed the weekend, because I knew I had to go back on Monday. I'm making a conscious effort to stop doing that. It does NOT make me happy.
Go get what you want.
Anything you want. But no stealing pls.
Be happy by yourself before you involve someone else.
Otherwise, you're just being selfish. Grow up.
Your body is a temple.
And don't you forget it.
I hope you found this insightful, and surprisingly, I wish I knew this all ten years ago.
Christina x
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